Trauma and Children – Tips for Parents

A distressing or frightening experience can challenge your child’s sense of security and the predictability of their world. Such events can include life-threatening car accidents, bushfires, floods, sudden illness, death in the family, crime, abuse, and violence in the community, either experienced in person or through the media.

If you are concerned about your child in any way, or feel that you are not coping yourself, always seek professional advice. A good place to start is your family GP.

Children React Differently to Trauma

A child’s response to a distressing or frightening experience will depend on a wide range of factors including their age, stage of development, personality, and the impact of the crisis on their parents or significant others. Your child may not react in the ways you expect.

Trauma Reactions May Include:

Withdrawal – loss of interest in activities, loss of confidence, not wanting to talk, or regressing to more ‘babyish’ ways of behaving.
Preoccupation – reliving the experience through repetitive play or drawings, being overly concerned about future events, or having nightmares.
Anxiety – problems with concentrating, clingy behaviour, separation anxiety, sleep problems, and irritability.
Physical symptoms – headaches and stomach aches.

Allow for a delayed reaction. Some children seem to cope well at first but can experience reactions to the stress days, weeks, or even months later.

Talk About the Traumatic Event

It helps to bring all the issues out in the open. Suggestions include:

Reassure your child that the event is over and they are safe (if this is the case).
Listen to your child and take their concerns and feelings seriously.
Tell your child about what happened in a way that is appropriate to their level of understanding.
Make sure your child hasn’t jumped to any wrong conclusions.
Talk about the event as a family and allow everyone to have their say.
Reassure your child that their feelings are normal and that they will gradually feel better.

Your Response to the Traumatic Event is Important

How the crisis impacts you and your reactions to your child’s feelings and behaviour will have an enormous impact on your child’s ability to cope and recover. Suggestions include:

Be understanding and recognize changes in behaviour as reactions to distress.
Give your child extra attention, particularly at bedtime or during separations.
Talk about your feelings in an appropriate way and allow your child to talk about theirs.
Give your child a sense of control over their life by allowing minor decisions.
Avoid being overly protective and help them feel their world is safe.

Family Routines After a Traumatic Event

Suggestions include:

Keep to your regular routine as much as possible.
Reassure your child that their routine will return to normal soon.
Avoid introducing new routines or stricter standards of behaviour.
Maintain family roles and avoid overburdening your child with responsibilities.

Practical Strategies for Recovery

Suggestions include:

Allow your child time to play and enjoy recreational activities.
Encourage laughter and shared pleasure to help the family feel better.
Offer regular snacks if your child’s appetite is affected.
Ensure your child gets enough rest and sleep.
Involve them in physical exercise to reduce stress and improve sleep.
Limit stimulants like sugar and chocolate.
Help your child relax with warm baths, massages, and cuddles.
Intervene if an activity makes your child upset or anxious.

If at any time you are worried about your mental health or the mental health of a loved one, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Where to Get Help

Your GP (doctor)
Your maternal and child health nurse
Your local community health centre
Paediatrician or Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist – your doctor can refer you
Phoenix Australia Centre for Post-traumatic Mental Health Tel. (03) 9035 5599
Centre for Grief and Bereavement Tel. 1800 642 066

General Telephone Counselling Services:

Lifeline Tel. 13 11 14
GriefLine Tel. 1300 845 745
beyondblue Tel. 1300 22 4636
Parentline Tel. 13 22 89
Kids Helpline Tel. 1800 55 1800
NURSE-ON-CALL Tel. 1300 60 60 24 – for expert health information and advice (24 hours, 7 days).